Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Tucker's Next Step?

Oh, this is just too good. Tucker Carlson, who like our feeble White House occupant, rode into town on his family connections (but UNlike Georgie Awol McFlightsuit, there's some question as to whether or not Tucker finished college), is maybe falling out of favor in his current position on MSNBC.

Why this took so long, I have no idea (though his ratings are terrible, his friends are in high places -- maybe that helps). I sometimes keep MSNBC on all day -- except when Tucker Carlson is on, at which point, I switch the TV to another channel (or switch it off -- unfortunately, he comes on at the same time as the droning Wolf Blitzer over on CNN, so I pretty much just have to take a break from the news for that hour). I just can't stand to listen to the guy. First of all, he can be shrill in a way that I thought was only possible in a woman. Then there's the fact that he can be quite the disingenuous (or just plain ignorant) snot. And, of course, he sometimes can't even manage to conceal his mission: to read the talking points fed to him by the conservatives who have been propping him up his whole career. He's a whining drama queen who thinks feigned stupidity is enough to give his leading questions some sort of legitimacy. He needed a chair for his (lap?) dance on Dancing with the Stars, has been humiliated on his own show, and has been spotted getting some poor video store clerk fired when faced with one of the byproducts of the celebrity he shamelessly courts.

So, guess what he's planning on doing once he finally gets kicked off the news? Heh. This is where it gets funny.

He wants to be the next Richard Dawson. Or Gene Rayburn. Or -- dare I say it? -- Bob Eubanks. He wants to be a game show host! Could it be true? Tucker will be perfect! He's smarmy, can certainly pull off the empty-headed part, and he loves wearing bow ties!

3 comments:

fletch said...

Excellent summary. I've been wanting to say these exact words a long time. I've never understood how he got on any teevee show at all. I'm gonna have to shell out more $$ to Comcast to get MSNBC here, offered only on the digital channels. Not that MSNBC is that great but man it's really, really bad with just CNN. I'm disappointed MSNBC is too chicken s**t to follow up Countdown with a like-minded show. There's plenty of talent out there.

Buck said...

"he can be shrill in a way that I thought was only possible in a woman."



Maybe someday I'll be able to stop laughing at that one.



I have never really cared for Tucker. His show is about as lame as it gets.



But for reasons I cannot explain my wife likes the guy.



Scary isn't it?

smijer said...

There was a time when I was able to listen to him. And I did feel sorry for him when Jon Stewart got on his show & refused to "be his monkey boy".